“CripSex: Draws attention to the political aspects of the sexual [pleasure and oppression] of disabled people. The rationale of the word ‘cripsex’ draws on the political nature of the word ‘crip’ (the shortened and reclaimed form of the derogatory term ‘cripple’) which signifies a sense of pride in disability by those who
utilize it. “ – Bethany Stevens
There is a radical notion floating out there in the world, that folks of all ability levels have complex sexualities (like all other humans), and can enjoy sex and relationships immensely. It is incredibly sad that in 2011, this is a radical idea, once that has to be discussed, that has to have “experts” in the field, and people speaking up for it, but it’s the truth. Doctors have to be taught to talk to people with disabilities about sexuality because they often assume their patients have no interest in/question about sexualities.
For some reason, society has decided to both desexualize and hypersexualize people with disabilities, often at the same time. We’re made to believe that folks with disabilities (physical and cognitive) have no sexualities; they don’t have wants and needs, they don’t have gender identities or orientations, and they are certainly not seen as sexy objects of desire. On the other hand, we are also told that they have “uncontrollable sexual urges” and that we should be careful around these insatiable people.
To be honest, it is all bull, of the highest degree. Our society has such a stringent view of what “healthy sexuality” looks like that almost no one fits into the requirements. Anyone who is not a skinny/ripped, white, heterosexual, traditionally able bodied, cis gender, vanilla, monogamous person that wants a long term relationship and likely a family, falls outside of this healthy sexual ideal that is forced upon us. Given this, who are we to then turn around and police others’ sexualities, telling them whether or not they are able to be sexual beings.
Within the community of people with disabilities exists the same diversity of sexuality that you would find anywhere else in the world. Our community features straight folks, queers, kinksters, vanilla people, asexual folks, trans folks, people constantly exploring their sexuality, people who are poly, people who are monogamous, people who have no idea what they want, and much much more. Anything you find in the world of sexuality is found amongst those with disabilities. True, there are some folks who just are not sexual at this point in their lives, and there are those who might be defined as hyper sexual – just like you would find in any other community you might research. The diversity of sexuality exists regardless of ones’ ability, even if society as a whole chooses not to recognize it.
People with disabilities should not be viewed as either non-sexual or hyper sexualized beings any more that queer folks should, or parents should, or those who drive Subarus should. While the crip/krip or disabled identity is certainly important
to many within that community, it does not define their sexuality; we each have our own sexual identities to explore as well.
So what does this mean for sex positivity as a whole? Let’s recognize the radical notion of treating people with disabilities in the same way we treat everyone else in reference to their sexualities; we ask them what their sexual identities look like, rather than making assumptions based on ridiculous stereotypes and social norms. Let’s remember to make all of our spaces for sex centric and sex positive events as accessible as possible; wheelchair and cane friendly, offering ASL interpreters as requested, and sending out schedules in .rtf or .doc formats (instead of PDFs). It’s time to remember that our community of sexual beings is incredibly diverse, and that diversity includes people with disabilities as well.
Being political around sexuality isn’t anything new; we’ve had to fight for sexual freedoms and reproductive rights forever, and seemingly will have to do so for a long time into the future. However, let’s add people with disabilities and the movement of CripSex to our cause. Just as we fight for safety, health care and legal rights for queer folks, trans folks, kinky folks, and more, we should fight for the recognition of PWD as sexual beings across the spectrum of sexuality, rather then boxing this community in even more, as society is wont to do.
Shanna Katz, M.Ed, ACS is a sexuality educator, relationship counselor and social justice activist whose passions include Krip Rights, LGBTQ Inclusivity and Open Source Sex Education. She speaks at schools, stores, conferences and medical offices around the country, as well as writes and consults on the spectrum of sexuality. Find out more at ShannaKatz.com